This is something in the online naturist community that always got my attention. And not in the judging kind of way, but more in an eyebrow raising kind of way. The secret naturist. And one in particular. The one that’s a secret naturist to his or hers partner ( mostly his ).
We all have a naturist friend that can’t talk openly about being a naturist because of family, work, religion or law ( in some countries, social nudity is against the law ). But what about naturists that can’t even be open against their partner about it? Why is that? And is it worth it to lie about it? This is something that fascinates me a while now. As many of you already know, I’m very open about being a naturist and naturism in general. And I think everyone in my life knows it aswell. Friends, family, colleagues. Even random people know because of my bumpersticker or my shirts. It’s in my Facebook bio and even when you Google my full name, you’ll get results that are connected with naturism. Also, when I was single I had it mentioned in my bio on several dating apps and websites. So everyone knows from the beginning.
And because of my great interest in naturism, I’m on a lot of social network websites that are based on naturism. Naturistcommunity.com is my favorite one. And since last week I also joined Nudistclubhouse.com after a good recommendation by Jason from The Naturist Page. I’m also in some Facebook groups that are based on naturism. Some international, some Dutch, to maybe meet some people in real life. I’m a peoples person. Always interested in the story behind someone and always enjoying people around me. So if I can find likeminded people in my living area online, than that’s perfect for when I’m going to the beach or Flevonatuur in the summer. And I already did meet some nice people which I’m still in contact with. But being on those websites also showed me another kind of naturists. People with posts and/or reactions that really raise my eyebrow and make me think if naturist is the right name for them. That are the people that invite or ask people for a naked coffee…
I never understood that concept. Getting dressed to go to someone I don’t know, to get undressed, drink coffee, get dressed and go back home to get undressed again. Seems like a lot of trouble for some caffeine. And yes, you could say that it’s the same like going to the naked restaurant in London. You could say that. I would have to disagree though. One, because it’s public and social and a complete unique experience in its own way and two, because you’re not entering someone’s private life. The private life of someone you don’t know. Now, like I said in the intro, I’m not judging, but posting requests like these never gave me a relaxed feeling. It always gave me the feeling there’s more behind it than what they call naturism. And normally, the people that react to posts like these, have the same feeling about it as me. But lately something changed. It could be trolls, but it could be reality aswell. And it kind of flabbergasted me. On a Dutch site there was a request for a ” naturist coffee “. And the first 2 reactions surprised me. Both male, saying they would love to visit and have some nude coffee as long…. as their wives wouldn’t know. Because their wives didn’t know they liked to be nude… how is this possible?
Now I know that I’m very blessed with a girlfriend like Santana. She knows everything about me and I know everything about her. But how is it possible, that within the 7 months that we are together, we know everything about eachother, no secrets whatsoever, that there are married couples that don’t even know their partner likes to spend his life naked? Isn’t a marriage based on honesty, trust and being open to eachother? Isn’t it based on mutual respect? Because, by not telling your partner, you don’t respect him or her. Or you simply assume they don’t respect your lifestyle. And if that is the case… why are you still married? When I look at myself, I’d like a partner that respects me for who I am. For the naturist, trucker, sometimes annoying kinda guy that I am. I couldn’t live with someone that is always trying to change me in something that I’m not, or even worse…. forbids me to be who I am. There’s simply no future in that. And since naturism is based on respect aswell, I hardly doubt that the people that responded to this naked coffee request are naturists. Or at least, not naturists that live by the same values as most of us do. I totally understand why you don’t tell everyone. There will always be people that judge or simply don’t understand. I don’t however understand why you can’t talk about it with your partner. And I totally don’t respect the fact that people lie about it. Or keep it a secret for that matter. And not only because you’re not honest towards your partner, but also because you give naturism a bad taste. I’m sure some of my readers are people like this. Some of them will leave because of this POV. That’s fine. I’m not forcing you to do anything. However… Some of them will see what they’re doing and hopefully start a conversation with their partner. Naturism is a beautiful thing and shouldn’t be kept a secret. That’s not the idea of freedom. All naturists understand why there is a fence or a wall around a naturist resort. But they all hate it. Simply because it doesn’t ” promote ” freedom. Because that’s what naturism is about. Freedom. The freedom to live in harmony. The freedom to be who you are. The freedom to know there’s nothing wrong with you or your body. And if you can’t live that freedom in your own relationship, or even talk about it with the person you love… then there’s something wrong or you have the wrong idea about naturism and social nudity in general. To these people I would like to say think about what you’re doing. To naturism, to your partner and to yourself. Because it has a bad taste in any way you look at it. I said it before and I’ll see it again: communication is the key to everything.
Talk to you guys soon ❤️.